If You See Me

If you see me looking solemn, please don’t think me unkind. I’ve disassociated and I’m struggling to understand what’s in my mind.

If you see me and my cheeks are wet behind my mirrored sunglasses, please don’t make fun. I’m working through my emotions, healing, and I’m starting to come undone. 

If you see me and I look disheveled, please don’t think me strange. I’m changing and expanding and the days of “love” and “enlightenment” don’t exist in isolation to the hard shit and the possibility of feeling deranged. 

If you see me and my voice cracks when we speak, please don’t judge too harshly. I’m choking back tears so the pain I’m processing won’t make you uncomfortable, at least hardly.

But, 

If you see me and I look different, it’s ok if you stare a little. I’ve spent so long being what others wanted me to be, fitting in their box. Everyday feeling more and more belittled. 

It’s time to be me.

If you see me and I look content, please know that I am. I hid myself from myself to protect myself for far too long and now, I am who I am.

If you see me and I look in love, it is oh so true, deep deep deep on the inside. See I connected with myself and I saw that universe, I saw my soul, and all that is connected. And I felt a love that can never ever be pushed aside. 

If you see me and I walk alone, please don’t think me odd. I lost a lot and of people in my life while I changed, while I grew, while I healed. So I haven’t yet found my people, my tribe, my pod.

If you see me in these streets,

All that I ask is that you see me.

Please see me.