Midnight Heart

Sometimes I feel like a towering giant, hovering, shadowing over the ones I love 

Am I too big to be loved? 

I shrink down, gotta get closer to the ground

Cut the thoughts, push the feelings, suck it in

I’m small, but I’m bursting.

My heart rushes matching the speed of my mind

Tight chest. I. Can’t. Breath.

I am less. Am I lovable now?

I explode. Daydreams spill over. Ideas, thoughts, and desires. I need more space to breathe and think and be

I grow, but I am scared. 

I rise back into myself. I love the expansiveness and strength of my existence. Up here in the clouds, I can see the hope, the opportunities. 

Am I too alone in this space to be found by love? 

My mind is open in this solitude place. I ebb and flow until I find the meanings that match my soul. 

I change, but the questions of my past haunt me. 

Am I too difficult to love?

Am I too complex to love?

Is my energy too overpowering?

Does my mind wander too deep? 

Am I too strong?

Do I show up too loudly?

Is my independence to scary?

Am I too weird?

A little peculiar?

But still

The esoteric brings comfort in the heat of day, but has yet to soothe the longings of my midnight heart 

Sometimes I feel like a towering giant, hovering, shadowing over the ones I love 

Am I too big to be loved?